Hope Town // Guana Cay

Lee teaching LeeAnn how to preform reconstructive surgery on our main sail.The lighthouse at Hope Town.

We only stayed a day or two in Hope Town. Just long enough to climb to the top of the light house. While we were there we met a cool girl named Ashley. She is a little quirky, but very genuine and nice. If you have ever read Harry Potter you can imagine Ashley as Luna Lovegood.

We struck up a relationship right away. She is the ONLY person we have met who is even remotely close to our own age on the whole trip! We made plans to sail to Guana Cay for the pig roast at a bar called “Nippers”.

Nippers is everything you would expect from a cliché 80’s movie with a setting in the Caribbean. A big outside deck bar with about 3 different levels. The tallest level being a big gazebo where the really sleazy guys can go to get a look down the shirts of the girls walking below.

Everything is painted pastel colors. There are two pools on different levels that are connected by a flight waterfall stairs. There are brightly colored umbrellas everywhere that were made out of the same plastic material used to make pom poms for high school cheerleaders. Women walk around in high hipped neon bikinis, again straight out of the 80’s. All the men are shirtless, as well as brainless, but they have big muscles so that must count for something.

LeeAnn is wearing a white skirt, and a bandanna for a shirt, and Ashley is wearing a faded white skirt, and a strapless shirt. They both look incredibly good and I must admit that as we walked into the bar where men out number women by 10 to 1... I felt like a total pimp! I was behind the girls as we came up the boardwalk and I watched all the heads turn. The guys don’t even try to hide it, and I even hear one them yell to a friend and point! I can feel the guys eying me, sizing me up and sending wave after wave of "cave man" competition vibes.

We dance, and have a good time. People try to dance with the girls, but for the most part they just dance with me or each other. This makes me incredibly happy... mostly because I can feel the collective saddness of the cavemen as they buy themselves another beer and pledge to spend even more time in the gym when they get home. I can almost hear their sad little thoughts: "how come little scrawny kid have two girl and I only have none? Me have big muscle! Me have big muscle!"

The party ends, we go to another bar. Dance more. Drink more. Ashley dances with the locals (depressed cavemen buy another beer). LeeAnn dances with me. The party quickly dies, and we all go home. The sun went down incredibly fast, and before I knew it the sky was black. I felt lucky to have made it through the night with out getting into a fist fight with a drunken bafoon on a testoterone high.

We all played guitar the whole night through and had a generally jolly time!

Now that you have read this far, I'm sorry to tell you that the story really had no point.